Trying to live the dream
by 6helterskelter6
Summary: COMPLETE Sydney and Sark were happy and in love and then it was just taken away. AU mostly.
1. Part I

**Title: **Trying to live the dream (Yeah, I know... weak title. But I can't think of anything better right now).  
**Author:** 6helterskelter6  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Alias, any of its characters. I own nothing. Just some CD's. Not even this computer.  
**Summary:** Sydney and Sark were happy and in love and then it was just taken away. - AU (mostly). It's a 3-part challenge entry for the November challenge.

**PS - **the italics in the middle of sentances are thoughts and the rest of the italic portions are flashbacks (or writings).

**

* * *

**

**Part I **

Sark opened the front door of his apartment and dropped everything on the ground. He slowly walked into the kitchen. Looking around, he saw that there were still dirty dishes left over from the previous night. _I don't care about those anymore. I just want them to disappear._

The room, and all of the other rooms, were filled with happy memories. Happy memories were the last thing that he needed now. Not when he was in so much pain. Pain that could have been avoided if he had just listened to her.

In the kitchen, glancing at his surroundings, trying to take everything in, he noticed a bottle of vodka sitting on the counter. He grabbed the bottle and a glass and began to pour. He drank the vodka within seconds and felt worse than he had before. _Why did this have to happen!_

Sark threw the glass against the wall, watching it shatter into a thousand pieces. He let out a blood curdling scream and tears filled his eyes. He backed up, almost falling with each step, and stopped against a wall, slipping towards the floor. With his head in his hands he began to cry himself to sleep on his kitchen floor. Soon the room was silent, and Sark was dreaming of happier times.

* * *

_Sydney jumped into the lake, not wearing a swimsuit, but wearing her tank top and shorts._

"_Oh come on Julian!" Sydney taunted Sark. "The water's just fine." She threw him a come hither look._

"_Syd, you know I can't resist you," he dove into the water "especially when you look at me like that."_

_They swam towards each other. Sark pulled Sydney into his arms and put his lips softly on hers. "What was that for?" Sydney asked, smiling._

" _Sydney__, there's something that I need to tell you." He looked straight into her eyes. She giggled at the serious look on his face. "Syd, this is serious."_

"_Okay, then get on with it." She looked into his eyes with a semi-serious look in her eyes, but still grinning._

"_There's something that I've been meaning to tell you for a little while now, but I haven't know how to say it." He looks down into the water. She notices his pause and tilts his head to look at her again._

"_What is it Julian?" She says seriously._

" _Sydney__… I love you." Sark looked at her questionably, just to see if she felt the same way. She smiled and kissed him sweetly on the cheek. She noticed his lips fall into a frown and she pulled his head to hers and kissed him with an extreme ferocity._

"_I've been waiting to hear that Julian, because I love you too." His frown instantly turned into a gigantic grin._

"_Miss Sydney Anne Bristow," he smiled "you gave me quite a scare" and he kissed her passionately._

* * *

Sark quickly got up and decided that the kitchen was not the best place to sleep, especially when in this kind of state. He grabbed the vodka bottle and walked towards the bedroom. He couldn't help but remember the things that they had done in that small apartment.

* * *

"_Agent Bristow," he said, taunting her, "You are not getting away from me that easily."_

"_Oh, sure I am," she said, with the same cockiness._

"_I don't think so…" he ran towards her and she ran away giggling._

"_You're never going to catch me Mr. Sark," she said as she tripped over the carpet and landed on the sofa._

_He jumped on top of her and began to tickle her, sending her into a larger fit of giggles. " Sydney, you should know that I can get you anytime I want."_

"_Oh, you believe that don't you," she said as she pulled his head to hers and kissed him lightly. "You shouldn't be so sure."_

"_Sydney Anne Bristow, don't you say such a thing. I think that I might have just proven that I can get you any time I would like," he said smiling. "I can always catch up to you. I will always find you. I'm never going to lose you." He kissed her with a fiery passion._

* * *

"Well, Sydney. Look at me now. I lost you, and I'm miserable. I'm never going to find you again." He couldn't take the pain anymore. He put the bottle down and left the apartment. It was raining hard, but he didn't notice. He walked up to the front door of his car and opened the door.

_

* * *

_

_Sark and Sydney were running fast. Bullets were flying around them. Slamming the door to the outside open, they quickly ran out into a parking lot. Running to the car which they had conveniently parked close to the exit of both the building and the parking lot, they jumped into the front seats. "Let's go Sark!" Sydney yelled. _

"_I'm going love." Sark said, turning the engine on and pulling out of the parking spot as fast as he could._

_They sped out of the parking lot as fast as the car could go, avoiding all oncoming traffic. They were both surprised that they hadn't hit anything or anyone with the way that Sark was driving. "I think you can be a little less careless now Julian." Sydney yelled._

_Sark__ suddenly looked in the rear view mirror and noticed that they were not being followed. "Sure. Just keep looking behind us to make sure that we're not being followed. Ok?"_

_Sydney__ nodded "Ok. I'll keep looking and you keep turning me on with your reckless driving and attitude."_

_Sark__ laughed at her impeccable timing "Syd, are you trying to tell me that me endangering our lives is a sure-fire way to get you into bed?"_

"_Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to say Mr. Sark." She said quite seductively. "If you pull over anytime soon, you can see the amazing outcome of your actions."_

"_Oh really?" he pulled over the car and into a parking lot. He went to the lowest level where there were no cars at all. Sydney climbed into his lap and began to ravish his lips with hers._

* * *

He drove for hours, just thinking about her. It was still pouring rain from the black sky. He thought that it was perfect. It should rain forever because she was gone. He pulled over at their favourite spot. It was a beautiful park that was normally filled with people, but not on this unhappy evening.

He got out of the car, not bothering to take the keys with him, or even turn off the ignition. No one would be stealing his car tonight, no one was out. He walked to the middle of the park and screamed at the top of his lungs. He collapsed to his knees, sobbing. He was broken. No one had ever broken him. He used to be strong. He used to be hard, unbreakable, cold, immune to all pain. Now all he could feel was pain.

He remembered what she had said to him when they were in the park one afternoon. "When I get back from a mission, if you can't find me, then come to this tree" she walked over to a large willow tree near the amphitheatre, "and I'll come find you. Just come here for me" she smiled and jumped into his arms.

He had been waiting for her for five days, and she hadn't returned from her latest mission. He thought that she had gone back home, left him, but that hadn't been it. No one knew where she had lived, no one knew who to call. It wasn't until he went to LA and saw Jack Bristow, Agent Vaughn, Agent Weiss, Agent Dixon, you name it. He saw them all, and they were broken, just like him. But it was worse for him. He had lost the only love that he had known.

He was told that she had drowned. The mission had been completed successfully, she had gone back to the hotel and went for a swim. The people she had stolen the artefact had caught up with her and found her in the swimming pool, doing her laps. They told him that she had been shot, her right lung had been punctured by the bullet and she had tried to swim to the edge of the pool, but fell under the surface of the water before she could.

There was a video. A surveillance feed from the hotel cameras. She was crying as she died. That made Julian, the young man, alone in the park, cry even harder. She had been hurt and he couldn't get to her in time. She had been scared, and he hadn't been there to help her.

* * *

He had returned home many hours ago. He sat in front of the television, nursing a bottle of tequila, not paying any attention to what was on the television. He just needed some background noise. The house was too empty without her. He couldn't sell it, because it still held a part of her in it, but he didn't want to be there anymore. This was all he did now.

It had been a week. Sydney's funeral had been the day before and he watched from the shadows of the other dead. He waited for the others to leave before seeing her. He sat against her tombstone for hours. He must have fallen asleep talking to her because when he opened his eyes again, it was light. He felt better there. She was watching him.

* * *

" _Sydney__, do you do this often" he asked playfully one morning. He had just woken up to see Sydney staring at him._

"_Yes, I do. Sometimes I just watch you sleep. You're so beautiful when you sleep Julian" she whispered to him._

"_You're beautiful all the time Syd" he held her close to him "I don't know what I'll do if you ever leave me" he mused._

"_Well, I guess it's good that I never want to. I'll never leave you Julian" she smiled and kissed him softly, "What _will_ you do if I ever leave?" she asked playfully and kissed him again._

* * *

He traced his fingers over the inscription.

_Sydney Bristow_

_Beautiful friend, colleague and daughter_

_Died serving her country_

_17 April 1972 – 11 November 2005_

He pulled a box out of his pocket and opened it, facing her headstone. He opened it and revealed a platinum band with a glorious diamond in the centre. He tearfully whispered to her "For our next life, my love" and he buried the ring in the earth beside her headstone. He stood and walked away.


	2. Part II

**Part II**

It had been two weeks. Every day he would try and find her. He would go with false hope to the tree in the park, or he would go and talk to her at her grave whenever he missed her. He spent more time there than at home. Some days he would lose track of time and wake up in the morning. He wouldn't care about the dirt on his clothing or that his expensive clothing now had wrinkles in it. He didn't have anyone to impress now.

He was slowly getting back to his normal life. He had contacted Irina to go back to work a few days ago. He told her to give him some more time, and she agreed. She had been taking some time off as well since her daughter's death. Irina had been the only one to figure out what was going on between Sydney and Julian. She was always brilliant.

It was thanksgiving weekend and the streets of Los Angeles were lined with parents and their children waiting for the parade. The air smelled of chocolate and peppermint. Julian was sitting under the tree waiting for Sydney once again when he heard screams and cheers and a rumble of applause when Father Christmas came down the street on his float. He heard the joy in the children's voices and smiled. He had dreamed of a day where he and Sydney would take their child to see the Thanksgiving parade. He frowned when he realized that would never happen.

* * *

He went to the house and figured that today was the day he should finally go back into their bedroom. He had not entered it since he found out about her. He opened the door and her scent enveloped him. He had missed it so much. He saw her perfume sitting on the dresser and her bathrobe on the chair next to the bed, nothing had been touched. Everything was still where she had left it.

There was a photograph of them on her bedside table. She was smiling at the camera and he was holding her from behind, his face was nuzzling her neck and you could tell that they were happy. He picked up the photograph and opened the back, reading her inscription; _I'll never forget that day. It was the best of my life. I love you. – Sydney._

It was taken on the day of the one year anniversary of their first date, in Paris. It was seven months ago now.

* * *

Another week went by, another week without Sydney. Julian thought that he was doing better. He was returning to work next week, and he was looking forward to something that wasn't just sitting around and waiting for death.

He decided that this was going to be the last day of waiting by the tree for Sydney to come for him. He didn't know how he was going to do it, but he would do it. He would say goodbye to her and go to Moscow.

He sat below the tree's branches and they swayed in the wind. He heard a song coming from the speakers from a cafe on the corner.

_You think I'd leave your side baby  
You know me better than that  
You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees  
I wouldn't do that  
I'll tell you you're right when you want  
_

The lyrics of this song were true to him, right now they made him miss her more. Because she wasn't here by his side.

The song sung to him and he leaned against the tree. He listened to it as he drifted off to sleep, not worrying about anything in the world because he had Sydney in his dreams.

_Oh when you're cold  
I'll be there  
Hold you tight to me _

When you're on the outside baby and you can't get in  
I will show you you're so much better than you know  
When you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again  
I will find you darling and i will bring you home

And if you want to cry  
I am here to dry your eyes  
And in no time  
You'll be fine

The woman walked to the tree slowly from the other end of the park and sat down next to the sleeping man. She smiled when he mumbled something incoherent in his sleep. When he shivered she took her blanket out of her bag and placed it over him.

She listened to the lyrics of the song and thought that they were perfect for them. It was _their_ song. "I'm right here, my Julian, my love" she whispered softly to him, and she was sure that his lips curved slightly into a smile. She softly sang along with the song as she drifted off to sleep with her head on his shoulder.

_You think I'd leave your side baby  
You know me better than that  
You think id leave you down when you're down on your knees  
I wouldn't do that  
I'll tell you you're right when you wrong  
Ha ah ah ah ah ah  
And if only you could see into me _

Oh when you're cold  
I'll be there  
Hold you tight to me  
When you're low  
I'll be there  
By your side baby

Oh when you're cold  
I'll be there  
Hold you tight to me  
Oh when you're low  
I'll be there  
By your side baby

* * *

He woke up feeling a pressure on his shoulder, and he felt very warm. He looked down and saw that there was a blanket over him. He sat there for a few minutes thinking about why someone would do something like that, care that much about a stranger in a park when he felt the pressure on his shoulder again. He turned his head slightly and saw a mass of brown hair.

He lightly shook the person, and they mumbled incoherently. _Just like Sydney used to,_ he thought. "Excuse me, sorry to wake you, but you fell asleep on my shoulder."

The woman turned and faced him with a sleepy smile on her face and he finally saw who she was…

"Good afternoon Julian" she said.

"Sydney?" he whispered disbelievingly. "It can't be you. You're not real."

She had tears in her eyes when she leaned forward and kissed him softly, "I am real Julian, I'm really here."

"Sydney?"

"Yes, Julian. I'm sorry" she clung to him sobbing, "I'm so sorry that I put you through all of this, I'm so sorry."

"Why?" he whispered. He pulled her closer to him, held her as tightly as he possibly could. "Why did you do that?" he asked.

"So we could get out" she cried, "so we can be together."

He looked at her with questionable look "what do you mean?" he asked her.

"I pretended I was dead, so I could stop them from looking for me. They aren't going to find us Julian, they've stopped looking." Sydney was looking at him with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes again. She noticed that his eyes were full of tears as well.

"I love you Sydney. I couldn't live without you. These past three weeks have been hell."

"You waited though, you waited for me."

"I waited. I came here almost every day. And when I didn't come here, I was talking to you at the cemetery."

"I know" she whispered tearfully, "I've been watching you every day, and it killed me not to come out of the shadows and tell you the truth, but I had to do it" she paused, he thought she was going to continue, but when she didn't he jumped in.

"Is there something else that you didn't tell me Syd?" she looked down at their entangled fingers, and he tilted her head to look into his eyes.

She smiled shyly and wrapped her arms around his neck and nervously whispered into his ear, "I'm pregnant."

He pulled her arms off of his neck and he looked at her disbelievingly. "You're pregnant?" he whispered.

Sydney nodded, frowning.

"Syd…" he drifted off, not knowing what to say, "I love you" she smiled shyly once again and a tear drifted down her cheek, he wiped it away softly with his thumb. He placed both of his hands around her neck and gave her a passionate kiss. "I love you so much, and this child will be loved more than any other in the world."

She smiled brightly and hugged him tightly to her, "So you're happy about this, then?"

"This is the happiest day of my life" he said smiling. It was a bigger smile than he had ever wore in his time of being. Everything was going to be alright. He had the love of his life back, a baby in the making, a family. He had a family.

He took his cell phone out of his pocket and looked at Sydney, "I'm a good actor right?" she looked at him confused, but nodded, "Good."

He dialled a number, "Irina. Yes, it's me. I can't come back. No, nothing's wrong. I just…" he choked up and began to tear, "I can't do that to her. I promised her I wouldn't go back, I just can't do that again."

Sydney was worried about him, she had never seen him like this, just when he was talking to her headstone.

He sniffled, "Thank you for understanding. Yes, I'll do that. Of course I'll tell her." He hung up the phone and smiled at Sydney.

"Your mother wants me to tell you that she misses you and she loves you" he kissed her softly.

"I know" she kissed his cheek. "So what do you say about getting out of here and starting our new life?"

He smiled brightly, "I'd say that's the third best thing I've heard today."

"What was the first?" she asked.

"That you're really alive."

"And the second?"

"That you're pregnant," he kissed her softly again, "We have a lot to make up for, love."

"I know" she whispered, "I know."

They packed the blanket back into her bag and headed off to their new life together. A family of three happy people.

* * *

_Three Years Later_

Sydney sneaked up behind her husband and wrapped her arms around his waist, "Who would have thought that Mr Sark would be helping to get his baby girl dressed in the morning?"

He turned to face her, not close enough though; her pregnant belly was getting in the way of that, "I don't think anyone would believe that. You'd need video or photographic evidence to prove that."

"Did you ever think that you would get married and have kids? Have a family?" he shook his head, "Did you ever think that we would get through three years and not kill each other?" he shook his head again and kissed her lips softly.

"We need to get her changed," Sydney said, "She's going to see her grandparents for the first time today… How do you think they'll react?"

"Well, your mother gave herself up after your death, and now she's back with your father. So that'll be a change… Then add the fact that you're alive? I don't know…" she frowned, "Syd, they'll be so happy to see you. They'll understand completely. And if they don't accept it, well you'll always have me" he smiled at her and she giggled.

"Well, let's get her dressed and then we can go."

A little girl came running up to them and tugged on Julian's pant leg, "Daddy?" she said with her baby girl voice. She had blonde hair and blue eyes and was the cutest little girl you had ever seen. She was wearing nothing but a diaper and her eyes were wide, pleading for his answer to be quick. "Can we go soon?" she asked.

"Yes, Sasha, sweetie, we can go just as soon as you get dressed" he laughed, picking her up and whispering something into her ear that Sydney didn't catch.

He put Sasha down again and she ran to her mother, hugging her legs desperately, "Momma, everything is going to be ok."

Sydney teared up and bent down as close to her daughter's level as she possibly could, with her swollen belly, and kissed her nose, "Thank you sweetheart. Now, why don't you go with daddy and get dressed. Then we can go."

She took her dad's hand and walked out of the room. They re-entered a few minutes later with Sasha wearing an adorable pink dress, which was way too frilly for anyone who wasn't two years old.

* * *

"Can you wait here for a minute? I just want to go up by myself first," she told Julian, "I want them to see me first."

"Of course love, we'll wait right here" he kissed her hand as she left the car.

She walked slowly and carefully up the stairs to the front door, one hand on the railing the other on her belly. She got to the door and looked back at the car. She nervously knocked on the door and waited.

Her father opened the door and when she saw him she burst into tears and hugged him tightly. He was now crying too.

Sasha watched from the car and was confused to see her mother this nervous. When she saw her mother begin to cry and hug this man she opened the door before Julian could do anything and ran to comfort her mother. She hugged her mom's legs and cried out to her "don't cry momma, don't be sad."

Sydney smiled and let go of her father, picking up her daughter. She waved to Julian to come to her and she smiled at her father, "dad, this is my daughter, Sasha."

He smiled at her in disbelief, "So, Sydney, you have a daughter and," he looked at her belly, "another on the way?" she nodded, "Am I to assume that there is a husband that goes along with these two?" she nodded again.

Julian came up behind the two women and took Sasha out of Sydney's arms, "Hello Mr Bristow" he said.

"What the hell is he doing here Sydney? And why is he carrying your daughter?" Jack asked.

"Dad, can we come in please? I'll explain everything once we get inside."

They got into his house and went to the living room. Sydney took a couple of dolls out of a bag that Julian had been carrying and placed them in front of Sasha on the carpet. She then sat next to Julian on the sofa, Jack was seated across from them.

"So, where's mom? I heard that she was living with you now," Sydney asked.

"She's out getting some groceries, she'll be back soon. Sydney, what is going on? I thought you had died! Why did you do this!" he asked furiously.

Sydney looked at him, Julian grasped her hand lovingly. "Three years ago, before I disappeared, Julian and I had been seeing each other for about a year and a half. I was in love with him, and I wanted to be with him, but that wasn't going to happen with all the people out there who were searching for me. One day, I found out that I was pregnant with Sasha, and I knew that I needed to do something. So I left. I faked my death and left everything behind."

"But you didn't leave _everything_ behind… you're back with him" Jack said hesitantly.

"I came back three weeks later and found Julian. I loved him dad, and I wasn't going to take his child away from him. A couple of days later we were married," she smiled nostalgically. "We've been living in Toronto for a while now. It's a nice city, a safe neighbourhood."

"Why did you come back now, Sydney?"

"Because I want my children to know their grandparents. And I wanted you to know that I'm alive, and happy" she squeezed Julian's hand, "And I wanted you to know that you have grandchildren."

"So, he makes you happy?" he nodded in Julian's direction.

She nodded, "Yeah, he makes me very happy."

"Well, then I guess I can accept that," he got up and crossed to Sydney and hugged her again. "I'm so happy that you're back Sydney."

"Dad, you can't tell anyone else that I'm alive. I don't want people looking for us again. I don't want my family to be put in danger."

"Sydney you can trust me" he let go of her, hearing a key in the lock, he went to the door and helped Irina bring in the groceries.

Sasha walked over to her parents and started showing them different things about her dolls and Irina spoke from the hallway, "Jack, what's going on? Why does it sound like there's a toddler in the living room?" Sydney saw her mother freeze when she saw her, "Sydney?" she whispered.

"Hi mom" she said.

"Julian? Sydney Anne Bristow, what is going on!" her mother demanded.

"Mom, I'm not Sydney Bristow anymore, I'm Sydney Lazarey. We're married," she leaned forward pulling Sasha into her lap, "And this is Sasha. She's our daughter."

"Are you pregnant, Sydney?" Sydney laughed.

"So you find out I'm alive, that I have a daughter, that I'm married to your ex-employee, and all you can say is 'Are you pregnant?'. Well, I am pregnant, five months."

"Oh my god" she breathed, "My baby is alive" she ran to Sydney and hugged her.

Sydney gasped, this was the most emotion her mother had ever shown her.

"Hi mom," she gasped.

"So, what is going on?" her mother demanded.

"I faked my death. Julian and I had secretly been seeing each other and I fell in love with him. I wanted to be with him, but I couldn't do it when there were all those people out there looking for me. There were just too many things trying to keep us apart. When I found out I was pregnant with Sasha," she played with her daughter's hair, "I knew it had to be done."

"I can't believe this Sydney…"

"I'm sorry for putting you through that mom," she looked at her father, "You too dad."

"I'm just happy that you're back, and safe."

Julian took Sasha out of Sydney's lap and sat on the floor playing with her toys with her. "Mom, I really love him. He's an amazing man."

"He loves you, too Sydney. I've seen the way he looks at you," she watched the father and daughter playing on the carpet, "When you died, I could tell that he was dying inside. I didn't know why, but I knew something was wrong. He was crushed Sydney."

"I know, but it had to be done. I found him again."

"Are you staying here for a while?"

"Yeah, for the weekend," she looked down at Julian, "Would you take care of her for a minute Julian?"

He nodded and smiled, "Of course, love."

"Thanks. Mom," she looked at her mother, "Can I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute?"

"Sure, honey."

They walked into the living room and Sydney leaned against the counter. "You can't tell anyone that we're here."

"I know sweetheart."

"Okay."

Sydney sighed, "Sydney, what is it?" her mother asked, she could sense that there was something bothering Sydney.

"I went to the doctor's before we left and found out something about my pregnancy, and I don't know how everyone will react."

Her face was pale, "Sydney, is something wrong? Is there something wrong with the baby?" she moved to her daughter's side and held her arm.

"No, nothing's wrong. It's just that… well… I'm having… twins," she whispered.

Irina took a step back from Sydney and smiled, "Oh my god! Sweetheart that's fantastic!" she hugged her, "So that's why you're so big!" she said.

"Thanks," Sydney said sarcastically, "Mom, I want to tell everyone else at dinner tonight, alright?"

"Yes, of course darling."

"It's Thanksgiving… are you planning on doing the big dinner?"

"Well, we weren't, but we can, if you'd like."

"Sasha has never experienced it before, I think it might be nice to do. Do you think we could get everything we need?"

"Of course. You know me, I can get whatever I want Sydney."

Sydney laughed, "You're my mother."

* * *

They returned from the packed grocery store almost three hours later and were in the kitchen the moment they got back. Julian was helping with the preparations right now, while Sasha was asleep in the bedroom.

He walked up behind Sydney and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I love you so much Sydney," he whispered. Sydney turned and kissed him, "I can't wait until we get to meet this little guy."

"What makes you so sure it's a guy?" she said. She went back to cutting carrots and saw her mother in the corner of her eye smiling. Jack was beside Irina tearing at the loaf of bread. Everyone was helping out.

"I just have a feeling."

"Well, I don't know. I have a feeling that it might be another girl."

Irina put the turkey in the oven and they went back to the living room with their drinks. Sydney was drinking cranberry juice in a wine glass, so it looked like red wine. Julian was happy drinking his Chateau Petrus. It was his favourite wine. They always had a bottle back in Toronto. "Mom, dad… we want you guys to come visit us sometimes. Is that ok?"

"We would be so happy to!" her mother exclaimed, "Of course, we'll go through other channels so it can't be traced to you."

Sydney smiled, "Thanks."

They heard Sasha's cries from down the hall. Julian and Sydney got up and went to check on their daughter. She was still asleep, but obviously having a nightmare. They lightly shook her to wake her from the bad dream. "Sasha, sweetie, please wake up," Julian whispered. She sat up in the big bed and began to sob when she saw her parents.

"Mommy, daddy, stay with Sasha. Don't go." She mumbled.

"Sweetie, we aren't going anywhere. We're right here. It was just a bad dream," they comforted her. Julian picked her up and they took her back to the living room, where Jack and Irina were still sitting.

Jack looked up at them, "Is everything alright?" he asked.

"Just a nightmare," Sydney said.

Julian looked down at his daughter in his arms, she was sucking her thumb and her cheeks were tear-stained, "Do you want to sit with grandma and grandpa?" he asked sweetly.

She nodded against his shoulder. He placed her over her grandparent's laps. Half an hour later, she was asleep. Neither person moved in case they woke her. She looked so adorable when she was asleep. Her hair was in pigtails and she was sucking her thumb. You could never resist her charm.

A few hours later, they were gathered around the dining room table, which was covered in various Thanksgiving dishes. Sasha was mesmerized by the sight. She couldn't stop smiling and trying to reach out of her high-chair for the mashed potatoes in front of her.

"Mom, there aren't any nuts in this are there?" Sydney asked, "Because, Sasha's allergic to nuts. I don't want to take her to the hospital tonight."

"No, there are no nuts."

"Well, why don't we go around the table and say what we're thankful for?" Jack suggested.

Irina went first, "I'm thankful to have my daughter back in my life, and for my grandchildren."

"I'm thankful for the exact same things. And that I have finally taken some time off from work," Jack said.

"It's about time," Irina mumbled and everyone laughed.

"I'm thankful for my beautiful daughter, the amazing love of my life next to me, this family that we've created and our future child," Julian said. He lifted Sydney's hand and kissed her palm. Sydney smiled and kissed him. Sasha, in between her parents squealed at their show of affection.

"Mommy, daddy, kissing," she said happily. Everyone at the table giggled at her sweetness.

"Well, I'm thankful for everything that has happened recently. I'm thankful for my husband, who I could never live without, my parents who I love so much, and… my three children," Sydney said.

"Two," Julian coughed under his breath.

"Three," Sydney corrected.

"Two," Julian said again, "Sydney we have one daughter and one child on the way."

"No. We have one daughter and two on the way," she said smiling.

Julian was shocked. He just stared at her for a moment and then broke out in the biggest smile she'd seen only a few times. "Two?" he whispered, "Twins?"

"Yes, twins. Are you happy about that?" she asked rhetorically.

He nodded and then embraced her tightly, "I love you Sydney," he said, kissing her intensely. Jack was at the other end of the table, watching this unravel before him.

"Twins?" he asked.

Sydney nodded, "Yes. I found out a couple of days ago."

He turned to Irina, "You don't seem so surprised about this…"

"I told her this morning before we went shopping. I wanted to have this special dinner and tell you."

Her mother walked over to Sydney and hugged her, "I'm so happy for you Sydney."

"Thanks. You guys have to come and visit us when they're born, alright?"

Her father was now joining in on the group hug, "We wouldn't miss it for the world."

They were interrupted by Sasha's cries in between them, Irina picked her up and held her against her chest. Sasha pulled lightly at a piece of her hair.

Their happy moment was interrupted by a knock at the door. Jack got up and went to the door, "Jack, I need to talk to you," they heard from the foyer.

"What is it Mr Vaughn?" he asked. Sydney immediately tensed. She looked to her mother frantically, who was trying to keep Sasha quiet. Julian squeezed her hand.

"I think Sydney's alive," Vaughn stated.

"What makes you think that?" Jack asked.

"At the agency, we were looking into Sark's disappearance again, and we saw some airport footage of a woman matching her description in Vancouver. We only saw her face, but I swear it was her! She's alive Jack! I'm going to find her!"

"Mr Vaughn, you gave up on my daughter six years ago, she's not coming back to you again."

Suddenly, Sasha began to cry loudly. Sydney took her daughter from her mother's arms and tried to soothe her cries.

"What was that?" Vaughn asked.

"Nothing," Jack tried to cover it up.

"That wasn't nothing, Jack."

Sydney walked out from the dining room and Vaughn gasped when he saw her. "Hello Michael," she said softly.


	3. Part III

**Part III**

"Sydney?" he whispered disbelievingly.

"You were right. I am alive."

"What's going on? Are you… Are you pregnant?"

"Yeah, I am. And this is my daughter, Sasha."

He looked at her and smiled, "She looks just like you. Well… minus the blonde hair and blue…" he drifted off, his mind coming to terms. "Oh," he whispered. He looked down and noticed her protruding belly, "You're pregnant," he stated.

She nodded, "Yeah, five months. It's twins."

He ran his hands through his hair, "Um… Congratulations," he said nervously.

"Thanks," she said softly, "Vaughn, maybe you should come inside. We should talk."

They sat on the sofa in the living room and Julian waited for the opportune moment to enter the room, after the conversation that she had already had twice that day.

"So, what you're saying is that, you faked your death, got married to Mr Sark, had a baby and now you're pregnant again with twins. And you love him?"

"Yeah."

"Oh… okay then," he said.

"Vaughn you can't tell anyone about this. No one can know that I'm alive. And I'll need you to stop the investigation to find Julian. We can't have our children in danger. Do you understand? Can you do that for me?"

He nodded sympathetically, "For you," he turned his head to Julian, "If you hurt them, I'll kill you."

Julian nodded and shook his hand, "I won't," was all he said before taking Sasha from Sydney. Sasha was nodding off in her mother's arms, so it was time for her to go to bed. She thanked her husband for taking care of that, and remained in the living room with Vaughn.

"Vaughn, I need you to understand why I did that."

"I understand Sydney, completely. I'm so happy that you're alive… and happy. You have the life that you've always wanted. You've got your dream."

"Yeah. I do."

"So, will I be able to visit you any time soon?"

"Well, if you want, you can come down when these guys are born," she pointed at her belly, "That's a little less than four months now."

"Yeah, sure. I'd love that… Syd, since we're talking about things, I need to tell you a couple of things. Will is back at the CIA. He's out of Witness Protection. Has been for almost a year. He's dating one of his college friends that he had a crush on. I think her name is Catherine."

Sydney smiled, "Yeah, he liked her."

"Well, he's happy. Are you going to tell him that you're alive?"

She shook her head, "No, I don't think so."

"Syd, there are some more things. Sloane is in custody. I don't think you need to keep your life a secret anymore. You can come out of hiding. He's not going to come after you again. The whole Rambaldi thing is over."

"Sloane is in custody?" Julian said as he entered the room.

Sydney ignored him, "I can't come out of hiding yet, Julian's still a fugitive. I won't let anyone tear apart my family."

Jack and Irina entered the room, "What about a pardon?" Irina asked, "If they could give me a pardon, they could give one to him. You'll probably have to move back here though."

"If he can get a pardon and stay with me, then I'll come back here."

Julian took Sydney's hands in his, "Sydney, you love the house. We can't leave it."

"It I can come see my parents and friends when I want, with you by my side, in public, it's worth it."

"If that's what you want, then we should see."

Sydney turned to her father, "Dad, do you think it's possible for this to happen?"

"I think it's likely that it could."

"If you'd like, we can take you two into the offices to see what they can do."

Both Sydney and Julian nodded their heads. "We can do that," Julian nodded, "You must tell them that I will not cooperate unless Sydney and Sasha are taken care of."

"Of course."

"Julian, if this doesn't work, we'll need to run. I can't live without you."

Vaughn coughed and looked away at this moment. He still couldn't really understand how she could love Julian Lazarey.

"Happy Thanksgiving," Vaughn said.

"Thank you for understanding, Vaughn. I can't tell you how much this means to me," she embraced him, "You don't know how much I've missed you."

"Syd, are you going to tell Will?"

"I think we should, since it's going to be safe."

"What about Weiss?"

"Oh my god! Weiss! I miss Weiss," Sydney started crying. Julian went to her side quickly and sat her down on the sofa.

"Are you alright, love?"

She smiled and wiped the tears off her cheeks, but there were new ones that continued to run down in their place, "I'm fine. It's just the hormones."

Julian smiled and kissed her, "I'm surprised that you've lasted this long without an outburst."

Sydney yawned, "I'm really tired. Would it be alright if I went to bed? These kids are tiring me out," she said while rubbing her belly affectionately.

Everyone nodded; "Syd, I'm so happy to see you alive and happy again," Vaughn kissed her cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She hugged her parents who both said how happy they were and then she went to the bedroom with Julian. Fifteen minutes later, Julian re-entered the dining room to see Jack and Irina cleaning up the leftover food and the dishes from the table. He joined them and they went to bed later.

* * *

They stood outside the front door of the JTF building. Julian was carrying a sleeping Sasha in his arms, but his other hand was holding Sydney's hand. Sydney was carrying her bag of toys, food and clothing for Sasha in her other hand. Julian looked at her and took a deep breath, "You ready?" he asked.

"It's now or never," she replied as they entered the building with her parents.

The place hadn't changed at all. They walked in, and immediately everyone in the room was staring at the family. Julian squeezed Sydney's hand in support when she tensed up. "Sydney?" someone said from behind.

She turned and saw Weiss and Marshall with matching looks of disbelief. "Syd, is that you?" Marshall said.

She put the bag on the ground, let go of Julian's hand and embraced the two men. "Hey," she said softly. "Surprise," she said pointing to her stomach and then turned to her husband and daughter, "You guys know Julian," she pulled Marshall to her again and whispered in his ear, "He's a good man, he won't hurt you."

"Syd," Julian called when Sasha began to stir, "Can we just go put her down in your father's office?"

She nodded and told Weiss and Marshall that they could come if they'd like. Weiss followed and Marshall said that he would be along in a minute. He just needed to get something from his office to show Sydney.

They placed Sasha down on the sofa in Jack's office softly. Julian paused and brushed the hair off of her face gently, and placed a kiss on her forehead, "Sleep well sweetheart," he whispered. Weiss was taken aback by this scene. He had never imagined that Sark could be like this.

"So, Weiss, how have you been?" Sydney asked.

He smiled, "Not as good as you, I see," he nodded at her family behind her.

She giggled, "I've finally gotten what I wanted all along."

He nodded, "As long as you're happy, I'm happy."

Marshall entered the room holding a few photographs of Mitchell, "Syd, these are pictures of Mitchell. He's four now. Isn't that amazing? He's so smart. He's already in a gifted school!" he spoke proudly of his son.

Sydney nodded and smiled, "That's amazing!" she exclaimed. She noticed both men's gazes shift to her husband and daughter behind them.

"So when did that happen?" Weiss asked.

She told the story once again and they listened inventively. When the story was finished, Sasha had woken up, "Hey baby," Sydney said as she picked her up, "Guys, I'd like you to meet Sasha. Our daughter."

Julian spoke up finally, "And these little ones are our little miracles."

"These?" Marshall asked.

"Twins," Julian and Sydney said together.

"Wow! Congratulations! You're both glowing," Weiss said, "How far along are you Syd?"

"Five months and a bit, now," she said.

"Looking forward to it?"

"I'm more nervous now that I know they're twins, but we'll handle everything, and everyone will be loved."

The conversation took a pause when Sasha started whining about wanting to play with her toys.

"She's gorgeous Syd, really."

"Thank you."

Marshall started playing with Sasha on the floor, "So, you guys are here to try and negotiate a pardon right?"

"Yeah," Sydney answered.

"I can say that there's a really good chance that they'll let you go back to wherever it is that you live now. I mean, there's been no sign of either of you for three years now, and he's obviously changed," Weiss pointed out. "If you give them information on the Covenant, then I wouldn't see a reason for keeping it away from you."

"We're prepared to give them almost anything. They just can't take him away from me. I won't let them" Sydney said.

"If anything happens then we'll help you guys get out, alright?" Weiss said, brushing his hand along Sydney's arm. "I know that I'll do anything to…"

They were interrupted by someone slamming the office door open, which woke up Sasha who had fallen asleep again on the floor. "Sydney?" Marshall asked from the floor, "Do you want me to take care of her?" he asked. Sydney nodded and then turned to see who opened the door so violently.

Will stood in front of her.

"Oh my god," he whispered. "It's not you. It can't be you."

"Hi, Will."

"You said that you wouldn't be able to see me again!" he said angrily.

"I know, I'm so sorry Will. I really didn't expect to see you, or anyone else again," Sydney answered. She walked to Sasha and picked her up, "Here's your goddaughter. She's missed you."

He smiled and took her from Sydney placing a kiss on the drowsy little girl in his arms, "She's so big!" he exclaimed, "I can't believe how fast she's growing… and look at you! You're so big now!"

Weiss and Marshall were really confused, "Woah, what's going on?" Weiss asked.

"How does he know about you and Sark, and Sasha?"

Julian stepped forward, "It's a funny story actually…" he nodded at Will, "When Sydney and I had just gotten married, we were at the airport in San Diego when we ran into Will. He saw Syd with me and flipped out. We told him about the faked death and the baby and that he couldn't tell anyone. We moved to Toronto and he would visit us periodically. He's the only person who has known about us."

"Yeah," Will smiled, "I missed my baby girl so much," he kissed her forehead, "I can't believe she's two now," he looked at Sydney again, "How far along are you now?"

"Five months. Oh, Will, we have to tell you something," she grasped Julian's hand. "We're having twins."

Will gasped and then gave his congratulations.

"So, what are you guys doing here?" Will asked.

"We're seeing what we can do to get Julian pardoned. He's not a bad man, Will. You know that better than anyone… other than me… and Sasha."

"I'm never going to understand why you call her Sasha. I mean, you've explained it to me before, but I just don't see how it works."

"What? Isn't Sasha her name?" Marshall asked.

"No, it's the Russian pet-name for Alexandra, which is her middle name. Her full name is Maria Alexandra Lazarey," Sydney smiled when she said the name.

"It's a beautiful name Sydney," Weiss said. "She's a beautiful girl. She looks just like you guys."

Sydney and Julian smiled at each other and nodded. "We just can't wait for these two."

Director Dixon came into the room smiling. "Sydney, I'm so happy that you're here. I'm glad you're back," he hugged Sydney, "Congratulations on the new life," he nodded at Julian and they sat down, "Now, I hear that you would like to be pardoned Mr Lazarey."

Julian nodded, "Yes, I am no harm to the world now. I just want to be a father and husband. I can give you whatever information you would like in exchange."

"We are interested in taking down the remaining members of the Covenant. The organization is basically gone, but there are still some higher-levels that are trying to form another group."

"I can give you whatever you need, as long as we can go back home. I can still give you the information from there."

Dixon stood and placed a paper and pen in front of Julian on the desk. "In that case Mr Lazarey, we have a deal," they shook hands and Julian signed the paper in front of him.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you get married using your real names without the CIA finding out?"

Sydney and Julian smiled at each other, "We got married in a small town church that isn't online. There's just the certificate copy they have that can confirm it."

They left the room with their belongings and went back home, to begin their new life together.

* * *

"Come on Sydney, you can do this! You can do it!" he clutched his wife's hand as the pain tore through her. She screamed and the muscles in her body tensed as the waves of another contraction flowed through her body. "Come on baby. You can do this. You're the strongest woman in the world, you know that right? I love you Syd. I love you so much."

Sydney had gone through sixteen hours of labour by this point. Now, she was covered in sweat and she was hungry and hormonal. "I hate you, you son of a bitch. You are never getting into my bed again," she growled.

Julian bent down and kissed her forehead, "I know love, I know. That's what you said last time."

The nurses all giggled at this, "She's at ten centimetres Mr Lazarey. We're going to move her to the delivery room."

Sydney sighed and leaned back onto the head rest, "I'm scared Julian," she whispered, "I'm so scared."

"I know, love. But everything is going to be just fine. You'll see. We'll have our babies in no time at all, alright?"

Sydney nodded and smiled weakly before screaming again with another contraction. Julian noted that he would need some ice when this was all over. The nurses moved Sydney to the delivery room and Julian was right next to her the whole time, never letting go of her hand, or rather,_ Sydney_ never letting go of _his_ hand.

Minutes later, they heard a baby's cry in the room. Five minutes later there was another one. And moments after that, Sydney and Julian were both holding a newborn baby in their arms. Sydney had tears running down her cheeks, and she noticed that Julian had tears in his eyes as well. "I love you," she said to him.

"I love you too," he replied, "So, what do we name this little boy of ours?" he kissed the baby's forehead.

"I was thinking about Nikolai Daniel Lazarey. Is that alright with you?"

"Of course," he laid a kiss upon her forehead, "And our newest baby girl?"

"You choose," she suggested.

"I hope you like it…" he looked down at the baby in her arms, "Isabella Francine Lazarey."

Sydney smiled and tears ran down her cheeks again, "Thank you Julian. I can't tell you how much that means to me."

"You four mean the world to me."

"How about you bring in everyone. I'm sure that they're anxious to meet these two."

"Alright."

He placed Nikolai in Sydney's arms and left the room, returning moments later with Jack, Eric, Irina, Will, Vaughn and Sasha. Everyone cooed over the newborn babies in Sydney's arms. They all took their turns in holding the bundles, even Sasha had her turn. She was sitting on the bed next to her mother when she exclaimed that she loved being a big sister already. Sydney cried when she heard this and Sasha then tried to cry, not knowing what she did wrong. Sydney took the time to try and explain why her mom was a mess of emotions right now.

Three days later they left Mount Sinai hospital in Toronto and headed for their home. Sydney's parents had bought a condo near the house so they wouldn't be far when they visited. Vaughn stayed with Sydney and Julian because Sydney was worried about what her father would do to him if he stayed with him. Eric and Will were staying at her parents in the guest room. Sydney was happier than she had been in years. She finally could have the life that she had really dreamed of.

A life with her husband, her parents, friends and now three children. It was a perfect life without any danger.


End file.
